I officially Blog

I seem to be entering a new era of my cyber life, no longer existing on the worlds largest social network for friendship façades, Facebook, I have decided to instead write a blog on all things useless and relatively amusing... i say relatively because, you either A) have to be there or B) be my cousin to even have the slightest understanding on our continuous shits and giggles...

Since only one follower reaches both those requirements, and I assume, my only follower, I will at least have the knowledge that I am not the only one laughing at lifes little antidotes.

So to start, I want to take you on a journey that will lead you to where 'x' marks the spot, a tale of the transition from the height of Facebook down to the highest of lows, a personal blog. This all really begins with people themselves, socially constructing or demolishing themselves through the exaggeration and constant word vomit of their inner psyche, the moaning and droning of people who claim to never want attention on their pathetic, angsty lives; but continue to do so. Facebook is the modern replacement of high school, you sign up, and you go on a never ending quest for acceptance, from ‘friend’ requests, to the hope that someone will ‘like’ your wall post that you spent hours to wittily construct, or simply to have someone feed your cow on Farmville.

Pathetic. 

Most High schoolers don’t survive the constant psyco babble involving the subject of drugs, sex and alcohol, the occasional drop of an umbilical cord along with the forever search to discover the truth of life whilst trapped in the uniformed institute of hormones. Successfully managing to avoid the rock from the roll is near on impossible, the media controls everything, and unfortunately the lack of full brain development and the need of acceptance makes us very vulnerable targets to a tidal wave of vultures, like Facebook, taking out everyone in its path including the wardens of life, parents, teachers and librarians. 

It makes me wonder if they even notice the constant word flow seeping through their tired fingers, the repetitive typing, and ridiculous mouse clicking, all to write a mediocre post on how their parents hate their boyfriend, why they hate their boyfriend, or better, how life is either too good or much too terrible due to their existence... there's also the person that loves keeping a food diary on their wall, or a pregnancy check, or a long winded message about how clever they think they are, the only post that are half decent are the ones that demote society and certain classes, by waging a war of word banter between two enemies, mostly with caps locked profanities.  And even they bore me to tears, it's like communication these days is either through some form of digital technology or shouting over a football field. 

After all of the unintelligent wordplay, there are also the plentiful actors and actresses that we all befriend unknowledgeable to the fact that when we step out of the Facebook portal and back into reality, we become grey matter, or nobody important at all. We meet once or twice, inside or outside, sober or intoxicated, distracted or mesmerised by people that we may not see in another year, but don't worry we have Facebook! Until, a year after meeting, we either not recognise them or we turn our heads, look at our phones or become completely preoccupied with something to do with the history of wool. 

So why are they still on our Facebook? Are we trying to prove that we are worthy of popularity? Or are we simply trying to feel the warming buzz of a screen telling us we have over 150 friends?

All these questions have circled, rotated and backflipped in my head till I was using my crania for feet. It drove me nuts, I had an addiction that I could not explain, I never accessed Facebook through a computer…I didn’t have one at the time… instead technology has allowed as to enter the network through our mobile phones, anywhere and anytime in the world. Whenever we wanted to avoid an awkward situation, plain bored or out of pure habit, our fingertips are able to enter a world where we feel more welcomed then we do in reality. Sad. Instead of actually expressing how we really feel to a living, breathing person, we deliberately put our emotions or personal thoughts on an unofficial personal blog by pressing a few keys and hitting ‘post’. The entire tactic of sharing these thoughts, is just to get a response, whether it be how clever you are, funny, or a way to gain sympathy by engaging not only a ‘oh poor me status’ but including a colon and an inward bracket; :(. And people fall for it everytime! Writing your emotions down on something that can’t actually give you a reasonable response or reaction is far easier then talking to someone who may give you an honest response, maybe even an honest one. And who wants to hear the truth when reading a lie on a computer screen is far easier, involves less effort or contact and is unlikely that you will need to file a bullying report. The people responding don’t necessarily even care; they just want a bit of gossip and a nose around. 

All these reasons lead me to delete roughly twenty people off my own Facebook, then as I was on my deleting spree, picking off friends one-by-one, I concluded the easiest solution was just to delete myself. Turns out you can never leave Facebook, you can only be deactivated, and as soon as you retype your old login again, reactivation. You can never leave. And you will always have that chance to reboot an addiction you tried to clean yourself of. Personally, I was okay with the deletion of myself, due to my sudden lack of interest and disliking of socially retarded people. So in the wise word of Stan from Southparks,  ‘Fuck Facebook’.